I look better un-naked...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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