I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
