I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
