Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
