just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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