So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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