billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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