birth control should be required to get into college
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
