so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
