I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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