he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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