How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
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Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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