so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
