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One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This baby is an asshole
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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