i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
