seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
