but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
