Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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