sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
