I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The uberlube is also flammable
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
