Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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