We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
