everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
