I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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