i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
