mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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