Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)

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(414): But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;) http://tfl.nu/bfcm

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

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(704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

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(402): Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you. http://tfl.nu/55t9

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(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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(313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5

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(559): View more from California

Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.

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(559): Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster. http://tfl.nu/p7ub

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(207): View more from Maine

Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11

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(207): Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night..... (617): I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11 http://tfl.nu/wa6u

Replies (36) Good night (7538) Bad night (1368)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people

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(203): I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people http://tfl.nu/sj5w

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(812): View more from Indiana

About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.

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(812): About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix. http://tfl.nu/c1od

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(772): View more from Florida

At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?

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(772): At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends? http://tfl.nu/7e4n

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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(512): Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today. http://tfl.nu/tybk

Replies (10) Good night (1361) Bad night (1857)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.

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(256): Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important. http://tfl.nu/3x1r

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(210): View more from Texas

I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.

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(210): I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now. http://tfl.nu/26wy

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(250): View more from British Columbia

We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical

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(250): We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical http://tfl.nu/vxcf

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(301): View more from Maryland

Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.

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(301): Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level. http://tfl.nu/wvpb

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(518): View more from New York

Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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(518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x

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