Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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