Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
