Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Randomize
