i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
