You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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