she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
