think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
