Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
