You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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