Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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