you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
