We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
