Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
