Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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