you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize