i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
