We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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