There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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