Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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