Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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