I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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