Already got asked if we're dating
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize