"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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