elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize