I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
