one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
