i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize