I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize