I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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