My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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