He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
