woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
