I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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