Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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